Early menopause-what to do???

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- Sep 1, 2019 at 07:08 PM
Hello!
I am very frustrated. I would like to share my story. And I would be very grateful if someone would share her own experience, too. Maybe it will help me to find my own solution. I am suffering infertility. During the last years the idea of having baby haven't left me. It was impossible with my diagnosis. I have you been diagnosed with a precocious menopause. Everything started seven years ago. When my husband and me decided to have a baby. But we couldn't conceive. After three years we dared to use IVF. We did IVF four times. We had procedured in different clinics.You know that sometimes it is better to consult not one doctor. Every timed I expected that that time would be the last one. My husband and me dreamt about the baby so much. But, all our attempts failed. It broke into pieces all our hopes and expectations. I don't want to go through this horror one more time. But these attempts only complicated the situation. IVF procedures provoked hormonal problems. As the result early menopause appeared. It is truth fix one thing and break another.N ow I am so disappointed that I cannot even describe it with my own words. I am afraid that our family can break into pieces. I feel miserable. I understand that I cannot give my husband a son or a daughter. It is very complicated for me. Maybe someone felt anything like this?
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Hi, KellyMoor! I am so sorry you have to suffer from infertility. If I only could help you. The only I want you to make sure that always you can find the solution. Just don't give up and fight for you family and for your future child. I was in the same boat. I struggle of infertility too. But now I am a happy mother. And of course you will be too. When I was 28 years old I went through a serious surgery during which doctors had to dissect my ovaries out. Medical workers warned me of the consequences in future, in particular infertility. I had no choice in the matter because we did not think about fertility at that moment but how to save my life. Being 30 years old my husband and I gave thought to child. Having known my diagnosis we understood that I can bear a child only with the help of donor eggs and IVF program. Therefore, we gave a second thought to reproductive medical programs. We studied all information and chose the country where we can take advantage of ART.

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> KellyMoor
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Aww thankyou for your kind words Kellymoor. Motherhood is honestly a gift and you will get yours soon enough i can guarantee. Great things happen to the people who wait.
I am very greatful that i am pregnant again. Iin my early 20's i have my priorities straight. I was not the typical young person wanting to go out and blow money out the door by partying and having one night stands getting pregnant to god knows who like ALOT of desperate scummy people do. I was focused on my partner, love, family, and being thankful i had a baby and for all i had. Kids (even mine) can be a handful and a half and put some strain on partners. But at the end of the day its just what kids do and got to deal with it. I also dont understand why women get abortions. Very selfish and they shouldnt of spread their legs in the first place and had some common sence and dignity about themselves. I have had a miscarriage before at 12 weeks. And it still haunts me to this day and ill never forget the image of my tiny baby on my hand lifeless. The nurse told me to put it in a paper bag so they throw them out afterwards. I never talk about it much. it makes me cry.
> Snooks -
You sound like your a wonderful woman who deserves a baby and would be a great mother in every aspect. I wish i was a genie and give you one now, BUT not that simple. Every woman would agree as i do with you about hearing the first words, first steps being a priceless gift. Cause if women dont agree then to me they dont deserve to be mothers. God has a plan for us all and im sure he sees you as a future great mummy and i bet hes working on it for you too but it all comes to patience and faith. i am a big believer in all this and your time will come.
Then I considered Mexico. That was not so far away so it suits me more. Together with my husband we decided to go and visit some clinics we chose. This journey was a big surprise for us. Do you know that in the state of Tabasco the surrogacy program is not only for traditional families, but also for homosexuals, the carriers of the AIDS virus/HIV and patients with viral hepatitis. Yes, this is Mexico. Surrogate mothers who are in the program, unfortunately, are not always checked properly. Not in all cases, they undergo a medical examination and testing. It entails a variety of diseases, malformations in the unborn child, complications with GS/childbirth, and much more. Any legally working and self-respecting clinic will never allow such violations. For me it is completely unacceptable! We went away from that country without any results. I was so upset. I dropped my hand. I need more time to settle all the information I have. We spent some money for travel in Mexico and it was our big mistake.
gia9
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> Dana -
Are you like suggesting surrogacy to the original poster? But unless her medical diagnosis or the failures are strong enough to reason Surrogacy irrespective of where she opts for it she cannot legally take on with the procedure. I don't understand the full-story from this post and there can be more adding to infertility but with just menopause, I think there are just two possible options. Firstly, donor conception can be done to eliminate the problem. Even with menopause, you can have implantation and the rest of the gestation very fruitfully. It so happens that at menopause the ovulation stops ... even shortly before that the egg quality can be terrible and not at all viable for conception. The second option is rejuvenating the ovaries to resume ovulation. This is a new technology and rare in practice but it's there. One of the used medication is Melatonin... unfortunately I don't know more on it. Definitely the clinic matters and one should be very detailed when deciding on it but first of all the OP needs to know her fertility options.
Mitchael.1
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Hey, Dana thank you for sharing your journey. I think it is so important to research before visiting a clinic. One should know about the procedure they want to opt for as well. For example, we decided to give IVF a second try with a new clinic. However, before deciding upon the clinic we basically searched about the treatment as well. The clinic I am visiting currently had a step by step video on IVF. Therefore, I watched that and learned so much from it. It was really interesting. From there I searched about them. I looked at their packages and programs. I was really impressed by them. After which I contacted them and started asking them questions. I really liked the way they communicated with us. I have rarely spoken to such a humble stuff. Hoping for the best now.
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Were you in Mexico? I would never have thought that there is so chaos in surrogacy industry. Although I saw a lot of TV programs that there are so much criminal and complete lawlessness in different spheres. Thus maybe I shouldn't be so surprised about such phenomenon in reproductive industry. But it is still very strange. Actually such countries as India and Mexico are good because of price but very high risk. And have you heard that scandal in Thailand? The internet is full of news about baby Gammy scandal and poor surrogate mothers. Such stories show bad side of surrogacy and egg donation in such countries. I am sure is anything goes wrong nobody will take the responsibility. Nobody can guarantee you healthy child or child registration without complication. I am really impressed by that scandal. However, there is hope that it will be solved by government. In any case I will be more calm if I do program in European country. I hope it is better organized there. Have you heard anything about European clinics?

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KellyMoor
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1 > Dana -
Thank you, Dana for all information. I very appreciate your support and advice. I am very interested in this clinic. I also find Ukraine the best option for surrogacy. I have just written an email to the clinic. I don't get any answer yet. I hope that they will be able to mail me back. I would like to start the process as soon as possible. Or at least I would like to know the possible ways of treatment for me. I am very tired to wait any more. Do you know when they could arrange an appointment for the first visit? I very excited to contact very soon. I hope it is possible... In other clinics it takes much time for waiting. But I haven't patience any more(( Dane, I am incredibly grateful to you for your help.
> KellyMoor
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Hello there KellyMoor,
I really do feel for you in your situation cause you see alot of women are selfish when it comes to babies eg abortion (which im totally against). And young girls getting pregnant and not wanting or are ready for a baby. It totally upsets me when i see people like you who ARE ready and want this more than everything. Its a struggle and seems like some women dont appreciate that they can get pregnant and have their own child when others are suffering. I have always loved kids... And i have 1 and one on the way at the moment. I have always wanted to have hundreds of my own)) I have even talked to my partner about being a surrogent mother for people in your situation. As i want to help fulfill couples happiness and give them what they have been longing for. And to be honest i wouldnt even want the money for doing it. Just seeing them hold their baby is enough happiness for me. But unfortunately i cant do it. There is something positive on the horizon waiting for you that you cant yet see... But it will come and have faith. I wish you all the best in the future. Weman like you deserve it. Believe in God and yourself)
KellyMoor
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1 > Snooks -
I totally agree with you, Snooks. I am very grateful to you. Thanks for everything. It is a great pleasure to hear words of such support from you. You are a very kind person with big heart. I consider motherhood to be one the most valuable things in the world. It is a big happiness to know that you can love someone and give care to someone. I am inclined to believe that parents are not the people that didn't conceive but those who grow up. I think every woman should be happy to know that she is pregnant. I know that it is difficult to bear a baby from the physiological point. But the result is like the miracle. I don't understand women who do abortion. Some of them say that they are too young for this. Some of them think that they don't have time for this. They dedicate more time for their career. For me the family is the most important.
KellyMoor
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1 > KellyMoor
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I always imagined how I will have a baby. It is a priceless gift to educate a child, to the first steps, to hear the first words. However, many women will not agree with me. They try to postpone the pregnancy. But a lot of problems can appear with the age. The woman will not always be young. Sometimes the life is unfair to us. It gives babies for those who are unprepared. On the contrary it leaves many women the chance to be a mother. I don't find the explanation for this. The thing I know is that not everything depends on us. So we are obliged to find the solutions. I believe that assisted reproductive technologies changed situation for better. I am sure that they helped, help and will help a lot of people to feel the happy moments of parenthood. That's why I hope that one day I will be able to have a baby, too. I also would like to believe that the positive news will soon appear on the horizon. I try not to give up and be strong. I also wish you good luck.
> KellyMoor
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Kelly, I hope you will get a response soon. I was waiting near three days. And I was also very irritated with it. But finally manager told that there are near hundred requests per day. Everyone wants to have attention. You should elax and be calm. If they have many clients, they need time to response. You can also try to call them) Also we think that our case is the most important and we can't wait long)) Manager told that it is impossible to answer all that requests immediately. You should calm down and wait. They won't forget about you) They have very good team of managers and they always try to do everything possible for their clients. So if you haven't still the answer, they have a reason for it. By the way, you can contact a manager by phone. The number you can find on their website in contacts. It will be much faster to call))
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Hello,

It just so happened yesterday, on TV, I watched a report on this Tobasco State and mothers.

Many mothers give birth to babies with anomalies.

A couple in Canada, who got twins from Mexico, are now facing a $100,000 (US) medical bill.

Please be extremely careful

Best regars

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> Patricia -
I want to say a few words concerning general impression regarding Thai clinic. In general, it could be seen rather weak organization of work. Surrogate mothers are not checked as must be. And their attitude towards the role they perform is rather specific and negative. They do not feel responsibility and care for the child they carry. All the time, we were accompanied by a feeling of uncertainty towards doctor's actions. We felt fear if all goes as it should be and if they really conduct real embryo transfer... In a word, Thailand was a horror for us. We spent all our money. We had no result but only sense of despair and distrust of clinics for human reproduction. Returning home, during about a year we renovated our psychological condition. And we had to raise money for the next attempt. We also tried our luck in India and Georgia. India is an ideal variant in terms of price. But there the matter dropped! In the Akanksha Infertility Clinic we even did not receive a contract where there would be spelled out all the rights and obligations of the parties.
> Patricia -
Health condition of surrogate mother did not meet accepted standards and norms. During the program, Indian surrogate mothers live in unsanitary conditions and do not care about the child inside them. In India, we could not receive even slightest guarantee that our baby will be healthy and without any deviations. As for Georgia, it met us with a great comfort, beauty and hospitality. In the New Life clinic we found none defects.There we found high level of medical treatment, European service, and attentiveness of staff to patients, good doctors. Everything was perfect but there was no result... In a word, being disappointed in three clinics. We realized that we just cannot financially buy more than one attempt. And we found Ukrainian BioTexCom Centre. The price pleasantly surprised us . We paid 30 thousand euros for the surrogacy program. But, it is important to note, this price included accommodation, meals, transfers, meeting at the airport and all medical procedures. And not a penny more! We were amazed that after the first attempt our surrogate mother got pregnant! She's a nice woman who carefully and responsibly applied to the baby she carried for us. In addition, after delivery, clinic's manager set a question with documents at rest. That is to say, everything was done completely legally and without nerves, negative emotions and bribes. We left Ukraine at the end of the program with no problems and did all the paperwork for the child easily. Today we are happy parents!
KellyMoor
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Actually I haven't expected that so many people would answer to my story. I very appreciate it. I have tried to search for my case. It seems that I have read los of information. I don't close out a chance to carry a baby myself. I am ready for that. I would try to do so many times as I need it. And I would be incredibly happy if I could. But you know, I would like to have some kind of hedge my bets. I don't exclude the option about surrogacy. I understand that everything is possible in our life. If something goes wrong I will have to undergo surrogacy program. It like the last option for me. It would be great if, for example, I could have such treatment that included first of all only egg donation. And then I could try surrogacy with egg donation. I think it could be cheaper. And at the same time it would be more comfortable. But about surrogacy, of course, I will think later on.
> KellyMoor
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Kelly, don't think about surrogacy) I believe you will have success with egg donation. Don't let bad thoughts about failures come in your head. Concerning the unknown doctor, Dana is right. Never go to such doctors. I can tell you a story of my sister. We thought that she had problems with her bladder, cause her bally became bigger. Very often she went in wc. She contacted one "doctor", and she confirmed that it is a bladder. She told that she should heat it. She did. But her bally became bigger and bigger. She went to normal doctor and he was shocked. It was a cyst, and it could be finished tragically. If it burst, she could die. So be careful and think twice visiting such doctors. As for public organization Happy Family, I recommend you to contact them. It will be much more easier to understand egg donation and surrogacy treatment. And it is completely for free. Their reports are very interesting and useful. Dana, I didn't hear, that the owner of Happy Family is infertile. It is very interesting and logically. Now I understood why the do such great work for fee.
gia9
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> Patricia -
For anyone else looking for reproductive surrogacy options... India no longer attends to surrogacy to foreign IPs. That has been banned for almost a decade now. So it's better to plan out for other lands which have cost-effective surrogacy packages in the world. Well I find the best thing, to begin with, where to go for surrogacy is to begin with the surrogacy reasoning laws and if your country of origin are taking in the new borns instantly as citizens. Anywhere in the world it is an absolute requirement to prove that anything else cannot really help you to get you a baby even with clinical assistance. Or if you're allowed a full term gestation that can prove to be fetal to you... like in case of bone marrow aplasia etc. About bringing back the surro baby... Australia seems to be comparably lenient than USA. So definitely you should check your Surrogacy destination based on some digging to find out if your country of Origin has been lenient in past to surro babies from that destination. Usually, anywhere in Europe is pretty much accepted in leading nations. So Ukraine will hopefully be a good choice if everything else falls in place with your expectations.
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Hello,

I have just taken a look at this site:

http://www.surrogacy.ca/

I am not advocating their service even if it seems to come from a country with a strict rule of law.

Adopting from a surrogate mother is big business. You may read their disclaimer which sweeps very large.

To avoid deception and grief, I strongly suggest, before you spend a single dollar, ask for legal documents which you will be required to sign and consult your lawyer.

Remember that if you wish to adopt out of your country, even from a surrogate mother, you will be subjected to your own country's immigration law as well as the country's law where the child will be conceived.

I wish you my very best

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Respond to Ambucias
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I am so sorry about your infertility problem. Don't give up hope. Do you know that IVF is successful in India and available at very low cost? I think you should go for infertility treatment from India.

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Respond to somyasharma
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I am really sorry to hear about the struggles. I can understand how hard it must have been for you. Don't lose hope and stay strong! I would first suggest that you consider visiting a RE. He/she will run some tests to see what is the most suitable process for you. I personally think that IVF with DE would work the best. However, they know if you are a candidate for IVF or not. Apart from that, you could look into a gestational carrier as well but again both of these really depends on your condition. The major thing that needs to be checked is the number of follicles you are producing. If there are no eggs then the donor egg is the only route. Research on it and find as much information as possible. Make sure the clinic you visit is professional in this matter. This will ensure that they know what they are doing. Good luck to you. Sending baby dust your way.
jeenia
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The normal age for perimenopause around your mid to late 40s. The normal age for menopause is approx 51 for general ladies. In any case, it is feasible for perimenopause to begin in the late 30s (early or untimely menopause) and mid 40s.
pri_3222
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In any case, related side effects, for example, hot flashes, begin sometime before menopause during a period called perimenopause. Anything that harms your ovaries or stops estrogen creation can cause early menopause.
Respond to Mitchael.1
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Early menopause generally alludes to beginning before age 45. Untimely menopause or untimely ovarian deficiency happens before age 40. Menopause happens when your ovaries quit delivering eggs, bringing about low estrogen levels
jeenia
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Professionals have decided whether a lady was moving toward menopause by examining manifestations and sometimes doing blood tests including tests to check a lady's degrees of follicle-animating hormone (FSH), estrogen, and thyroid-invigorating hormone (TSH)
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The fundamental treatment for early menopause is either the consolidated preventative pill or HRT to compensate for your missing hormones. Your GP will likely prescribe that you take this treatment long haul, past the "typical" period of normal menopause (around 52 all things considered), to give you enduring insurance. In the event that you have had specific sorts of disease, for example, particular kinds of bosom malignant growth, you will be unable to have hormonal treatment. Your GP will converse with you about other treatment choices and way of life transforms you can make to help secure your wellbeing.
In case despite everything you're getting side effects, your GP can allude you to an authority menopause focus.
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Hi Kelly! I hope you are doing well now. I am so sorry for your failed cycles. IVF is such a good treatment but maybe it's not the right option for you. You tried 4 times at different clinics but still didn't work so I think it's time for you to move on to surrogacy. Surrogacy is a great treatment tbh, I had both of my babies through it so I can assure you that it's safe. Yes, the baby will be genetically related to you so don't worry about that. You just need to do some research before opting for a clinic. The clinic where I had my treatment was abroad, but it was worth it. The packages were so affordable and the staff was so nice. If you are looking for a good option, you should check them out. Good luck! Stay blessed! Bye!
gia9
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Sorry to hear about your several failed attempt at IVF. I hope it all worked out well with you but I have a couple of questions if you do not mind. Just curious, did you failed attempt at IVF was enough to legally reason the surrogacy? As far as I have heard all the countries around the world have strict regulation on the surrogacy process and the inability to bear a child has to be clinically proven for it. Sometimes when there's a threat to life if the gestation is allowed full-time then also it's allowed.
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I m really sorry for what you have been through. I know how hard it is to deal with all that. But you have to stay strong and patient. Everything will work out if you are healthy. You need to get yourself tested. First of all, do some research and find a good clinic. After that, the doctors will tell you the best option for you. If you are able to carry a baby then go for IVF otherwise Surrogacy. These two are the most successful treatments for infertility. I am also going for surrogacy to become a mother. I hope this helps you. Good luck. Stay blessed. Bye.
pri_3222
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Hi dear, hope you are doing good. You simply do not need to worry about menopause. Menopause that occurs before age 40 is called untimely menopause. Menopause that occurs somewhere in the range of 40 and 45 is called early menopause. About 5% of ladies normally experience early menopause.
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I hope you are feeling better. It is unlikely that a treatment could lead to that. Probably menopause was on its way. However, I am not a doctor so I can't say anything. I would suggest that you visit a good doctor and ask them to help you out. A RE would be a better option. They will conduct certain tests and see where the problem lies. Maybe certain medications would help you out. If not then you can always look into the DE option. therefore dont lose hope. I am sure something better is waiting. Sending baby dust your way. I hope things get better for you. Good luck to you. If you need any help with the clinic let me know.
pri_3222
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Ladies who have untimely menopause will be at higher hazard for osteoporosis because of the early decay of estrogen. The decay of estrogen can likewise build hazard factors for ovarian and colon cancer and gum infection.
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Great post about early menopause.
jeenia
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The more you know about menopause it is good to share knowledge. Furthermore, it can even now be a very long time before your last menstrual period. Some normal, typical signs incorporate sporadic periods, hot flashes, vaginal dryness, rest aggravations, and emotional episodes—all consequences of unevenly changing degrees of ovarian hormones in your body.
pri_3222
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Despite the fact that there is a standard range for to what extent menopause side effects last, every lady's age is exceptional. The progress regularly takes around four years, yet a few side effects may last more. There are no rigid standards as menopause starts and finishes without anyone else plan
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The normal period of beginning for "characteristic" menopause is 51. Be that as it may, in view of hereditary qualities, sickness, or medicinal systems, a few ladies experience menopause before the age of 40
pri_3222
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While worry, alongside horrible eating routine, overwhelming drinking, and smoking, may assume a job in early menopause, there isn't sufficient proof to state that pressure alone causes early menopause. Stress can be that as it may, cause you to encounter the side effects of menopause all the more harshly.
gia9
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I don't think she mentioned her age... did she? Well at 40+ you can't really consider the menopause really early. On average, the fertile stage stays for a minimum of 35 years... so based on when you hit your puberty the natural time of menopause will vary slightly. As per studies, however, menopause doesn't affect DE+IVF. No clue why it didn't work in this case maybe more infertility causes are contributing to the failed attempts.
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Hi there, it's a very old post so I hope you've already found a solution to your troubles with fertility. More so because there's no update which as a person having to be through this rough ride of infertility I know is much impossible when your infertility persists. These forums offer so much to women like us... starts with pretty much info digging and then venting to people who'd actually relate or perhaps understand the situation better than the whole lot of them out there. Also, the support and optimism is something you cannot go without if the struggle stretches for years.

Now if at all you've had very little hope so far and still struggling in silence.... you should look into the option of DE first. Usually, with medications, you will not need a surrogacy just because you're menopausal as long as you can really go through gestation. Someone mentioned Revamping the ovarian function... I have read about it too but not sure how effective it is... or even if it's available everywhere. There's no harm in looking forward to this option and seek more detailed information about it. Also, if you're reluctant about the DE conception then maybe you should look into the option of mitochondrial donation instead of direct egg donation. If you want I can share some links further for you to get to know your option better.
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