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- - Latest reply:  Nelly_J1 - Apr 24, 2018 at 01:32 PM
Hi guys! How are you all? Looking forward to making new mommy friends and connecting with them. I’m writing this post to share some of the concerns I have about my son. He is nine months old. Great kid overall. I and my husband had him through surrogacy. We tried to conceive for three years. With no luck, we had lost all hope. So we went for it. My concerns are: Does my baby have that motherly connection with me or just my genes. This really keeps me up at night sometimes. Since I didn’t carry him myself. I have heard that there are a lot of other things that children adopt in the womb. We tried to keep our surrogate in nice surroundings with good energy. I love my baby and he loves me too. I’m also extremely thankful for him. He gave me hope and took me out of depression. I’m extremely happy to have him. Please go ahead and share your surrogacy experiences in the comments, I would really appreciate it. It’s one way to connect and know one another.
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Hey there. I am happy to hear from you. Your success story is an amazing one. The baby will definitely have a nice connection with you. He was in the womb for just 9 months but now he is with you. He will be spending his life with his beautiful mother. He will have sincere and nice feelings for you. Don't you worry about anything. Just enjoy these days, days of his childhood. Prayers and wishes for your baby.
mistygray
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Hey Flora. Thank you so much. I really appreciate your kind words. They actually made me feel better. I sure do have a great bond with my son. I see it getting better and better each day. I'm so grateful to God for blessing me with this tiny angel.
Respond to FloraBiber
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I do not think you need to worry about something like that. He is definitely your son. If you had him through surrogacy you gave your egg for fertility. So biologically he is your child. As for the spiritual connection if you love him and take care of him there is no reason the connection should not be there. I had my own son through surrogacy and had this exact same fear. To get over this my husband suggested something. We kept in strong contact with out surrogate. So over the phone or social media we always asked her how she was doing etc. This made me feel closer to my child. Along with that I even was present at the birth. Although my husband wanted to be in the delivery room we flipped a coin and I won lol. The whole process and I was present throughout so it felt like a natural normal birth to me. Today I have my son with me and I am thankful. I love him absolutely and I feel connected to him. It is with this that I also came out of depression. If you make the effort your child will definitely be connected to you.
mistygray
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Hey Katherine. Thank you for your kind words. I'm so glad you took some time out to read my post and reply to you. Your comment is heartwarming. I can relate to you on so many levels. We tried to stay connected with our surrogate for the same reason. We tried our best. I was worried about this in the beginning. But I just read all these supportive and positive comments. I feel so much better now. I feel the connection strengthening between my son and I. I keep him as close to me as possible. I'm sure he loves me a lot. I love him too. I'm very grateful to have him. I used to be depressed just like you. But when I had him, my life changed completely.
Respond to KatherineGrant
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Hello lady.Lucky women.I am glad to know that you become successful.I am scared about my journey to conceive the baby through surrogacy, I m just worried that this child attaches to me. but I am really happy to know about through surrogacy. I am attached genetically with my baby. Stay positive and happy. Work hard and don't give up hope.
Respond to jenifer345
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Whatever you heard was correct. Kids do learn things from the womb. They usually act like the surrogate. Of course they have some symptoms of surrogate as well. After all she carried him 9 months. It's a real long time. Similar in the case with donor eggs or sperms. In all these cases. Kids may adopt some other specialties as well. You don't have to worry. You know what, The full and final behavior is not what we born with. It's what we are trained for. Just give your child a good care. Teach him good things. Be a good mother. At last he is always going to do what you taught him. Your teachings will be his final acts in the real world. Other things are almost negligible.
Respond to pheobe412
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Hey there amazing thread to start of with, I firmly believe that surrogacy in itself is a great procedure as it allows you to be genetically linked with the baby. However, two things everyone should be careful about are that your country you opt for is doing it legally. In the US the right of, the baby belongs with the surrogate make sure that it is dealt with. Luckily in my case, the clinic I visited gave the rights of the baby to us. Also, the conditions of the clinic were amazing as even the surrogate mothers had to go through a test to be eligible. If they weren't then they were not selected. Another thing that surprised me was the treatment of the surrogates. They had to come on a daily basis for checkups. So make sure your choice of the clinic is correct. Best of luck to all those opting for it.
Respond to Alessia.Violet
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Hey there. I hope that you're doing good. So another surrogacy success case. I'm really glad that it's really helping people out, all around the world. Okay, so you're worried about this thing. Well, when I went to Ukraine for my surrogacy, I saw many other women getting nervous about this thing. I myself have a beautiful daughter. She's lovely. I also had this fear in the early days. But then I started to think positively. There are many children in this World, who're adopted when they're born. But they get attached to only those who raise them. Children through surrogacy allow a biological connection to the Child. Then I don't think that there will be any differences then. Secondly, you'll raise the child. You have a biological connection with him. Then why won't he have a motherly connection with you? I also feared these things. But my lovely daughter is 5 years old now. And she's so attached to me, she's literally my world. She made me love this life more and more. So yes, things always get fine eventually. You just have to give them a little time. I hope that you got my point. Take care of yourself and your baby. Loads of love.
Respond to Sharonstone123
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It is so good to hear about your happiness. It is very hard for people to conceive these days. Most of them lose hope and give up. You are one of the strong ones. You didn't give up and kept trying. You found the perfect solution to your problem. I am very happy that you got to have a baby. Surrogacy is a very nice option to solve such a major problem. I really do support the concept of this treatment. I think that you are worried for no reason. It really depends on you how nicely you bond with your son. He is a kid and he is going to spend all his time with you. Not just his time but he's gonna spend his whole life with you. In such a long period he's going to adopt all your habits. He only spends 9 months in the surrogate's womb and that is not that much of a time. Instead of being worried about such a silly thing, spend more time with him. Make him feel loved. I am very sure that he will fall in love with you.
Respond to bennythegiant
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If there is nothing in the test than I guess it won't be anything. There could be one more possibility and that is it may occur after some days. You can wait for some days. The other symptoms that you are mentioned are not that much clear. These problems may occur due to some other reasons as well. Stress would be the reasons. Our diet these days are not good and appropriate. That would be the reason as well. Anyways just wait for some days. Try again than. May this would be best for you.
Respond to pheobe412
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Hi there. First of all, A lot of congratulations to you. I'm also trying via an IVF this year at a repro center in Ukraine. I think you're really blessed! Surrogacy is a great thing! With time he will be like you guys! You don't have to overthink about this stuff! So, yeah! Just go for it! Usually, if a woman carries someone else baby...So, there are a few chances that baby might get her instincts...But, you don't have to worry much! You've him now! You can still do better! He's your child. He only has you. So, stay blessed! Live happily! xx
Respond to SashaMarcus
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Well yes you heard it correct. This could be possible. You did the best thing by putting your surrogate in the best atmosphere. Mostly this is the appropriate way of doing stuff. I think everyone should do that. I saw many different links on the surrogacy. I saw that the clinics also kept the surrogate in a best atmosphere. In this way the baby is healthy as well as the parents don't register any complaints. I am really sorry for what you suffered but see in the end. Everything is perfect now. This is everything. I wish you very happy life. Don't worry he is going to be a good person just like you are.
Respond to pheobe412
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Hey Misty! I hope you're doing good. Congratulations on your son! Dear, you're just over thinking. Surrogacy is a blessing and because of which you're happy at this time. So, don't worry. Your son will be attached to you and be close to you as any other normal child is to his mother. Just love him, take care of him, and he'll do the same. Good Luck to you. May you have a happy life ahead!
Respond to alisa123
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good to hear you have your son via surrogacy.
I'm also looking for surrogacy.
We have contacted clinic for this issue and they are helping us in each and every stage.
I conceived for three times but every pregnancy resulted in miscarriage.
I persuaded my husband to go for the surrogacy method to have a baby.
The consultant has given us a detail of this issue in every aspect.
They let us meet with the other couples who are raising babies via surrogacy method too.
The couples feedback is so satisfying that we are now ready to go for surrogacy.
The clinic has a number of surrogates who are willing to raise our child in their womb.
The clinic says that they will go through extensive tests methods to clear all the reports of surrogate so that we don't have any problems later on.
The clinic says that the surrogate should be good physically and should be perfectly alright.
The clinic has also its own many surrogates but they are looking the best one for us.
I found many clinics good surrogacy record and a positive review too.
Me and my husband are looking for a surrogate to raise our child in her womb.
If someone has experience regarding surrogacy please let us know about your experience.
Respond to NatashaLiam
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Well, it's better that you shared it here. It's kind of a relief for you as well. Don't worry dear its life. We have to face this thing. Don't worry just try to be strong. The things that we lost in our past would be near to us in future. It's not necessary that it would be same like before. You suffered unhappiness. You suffered problems. Well, you see after some time everything is going to be clear for you. Just be sure about this. Everything great is upcoming dear. May you be happy always.
Respond to pheobe412
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Hi lovely lady.Happy to come to know about your positive and successful story.I knew there is nothing without children.Even I can't imagine my life without my little boy.Surrogacy, in fact, you all find some hopes and strength, that there is something.We got success and positivity through this process.I am the mother of 2 kids.I was not infertile but unluckily, I am facing bad time during conceiving the second baby.It's going really tough situation.When I have come to know that I am not conceiving naturally.At last, I finally fid it.There is always some happiness after sadness.Nothing is everlast and impossible.Wish you very best of luck to all.Keep trying.
Respond to marywilliam
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He is a great kid. I am happy that you had him finally. It's really best for you guys. I wish you best of luck for the future guys. Everything will be alright for you. Just don't be worry about anything. He is your son now. Raise him well. He'll be the best.
Respond to pheobe412
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Hello, there stunning lady. Your story really filled my heart with extensive joy. I knew there is nothing without children. Even I can't envision my existence without my little boy. Surrogacy, indeed, the great blessing of science and modern technologies. it has benefited many infertile couples. I am the mother of 2 kids. But the problem with me is that I'm facing secondary infertility. It's going extremely intense situation. When I have come to realize that I am not conceiving naturally. I did not accept rather decided to fight with it. .There is constantly some bliss in the darkness of sadness. Nothing is everlast and impossible. Wish you absolute best of luck too all. pray for my secondary infertility too!
Respond to nur_atikson
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Yes, he is just going to attach to you as much as a baby could attach to his mother. There is nothing to worry about. Many people got concerns like this. This is really not a problem. You should be aware of the fact that you are the one who is about to take care of him. You are the one who is about to grow him into a person. Don't worry about it.
Respond to pheobe412
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You can make the connection yourself, theres tons of people who adopted and have that bond with their kids
Respond to Lula.24
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You have done a good job. It is really inspiring. I have least heard about making good surroundings in case of surrogacy. You have done a good job. I appreciate this act. It is your child and you have the right to teach what is good or bad. I like this idea of giving a good atmosphere in the womb. I wish you the best in future.
Respond to Nicolebill123
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Hey dear. It is good that you tried alot to conceive. But after not being successful, you immediately go for surrogacy. This gesture shows positivity. Instead of losing heart and keep on dissappointing, you move forward.
Dear You should not be worry at all. Don't think about that you son belongs to you or not. Obviously, his genes belongs to you. And no doubt, the kid learns a lot in the mother's womb. But as you say that your surrogate was good. And you keep that surrogate in good environment, then obviously your son has learned alot in the surrogate's womb as well.
Dear, I am also considering surrogacy. Because I am a heart pateint. Thus can't get pregnant naturally. I hope that everything goes well for me.
Respond to tandy789
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